English, strictly speaking, is not my first language by the way. I haven’t yet discovered what my first language is so for the time being I use English in order to say things. I expect I will always have to do it that way; regrettably I don’t think my first language can be written down at all. I’m not sure it can be made external you see. I think it has to stay where it is; simmering in the elastic gloom betwixt my flickering organs.